Funny piece! My wife and I have been married 40 years and have 11 children, 9 boys, 2 girls. I'm 60 now and my youngest is 12. You talk about tiring. My older adult kids tell us we're spoiling him, that we would have never let them get away with what he does. I'm just too damn tired!
And I remind them of the things they got away with. My first two boys discovering Vaseline and smearing it all over them and everything in the house. The time they fed the dog by pushing a plastic peanut butter jar over his head, that I had to cut off with a knife. My son scratching his name onto my car with a screwdriver and then swearing it wasn't him, and then his younger brother hearing the story a decade later and deciding to scratch his brother's name onto my car to get his brother in trouble. Three broken windows just two weeks after installing new windows on the house. One of them finding $600 in my drawer and passing it out to the kids in the neighborhood because he was rich. One of them burning down the shed, "on accident". Haha, I'm just getting started. Maybe I should write an article.
11 kids! Omg no wonder you’re tired 😂. Have any of your older kids had their own kids yet? They’ll learn quick about how this goes. And yes, you have A LOT of material here. Enough for a whole series are articles! I’d certainly read them 😄
Thanks, maybe someday I'll pick up a pen. We have 26 grandkids. The 6 oldest kids are married. We have four boys still living at home, but one of them is getting married in the spring and moving out. Busy, busy, something's always going on. 😁
Walking into the bathroom to find that the 2yo has climbed onto the change table and liberally coated her face with white nappy-rash cream. Quoth she: “everywhere!”
Haha thanks for this article it made me laugh. I'm actually one of those French mom with an 8 mo daughter and already revising my standards ! This baby will not sleep in her cot ! And my mom keeps asking me if she falls asleep on her own (LOL)
Although I do have many painful memories of being forced to sit for hours at a family lunch or a restaurant listening to adults talk on and on, without tablets or distractions, and not being authorized to leave the table until after dessert (so like, 3 hours into the meal??).
There are some of us that criticize our French parenting culture, very much based on punishment and fear rather than on collaboration...not everything is perfect here either...
Alice! Firstly, I’m thrilled to have an actual French parent here to comment. I’m glad I didn’t offend you 😂 secondly, yes I totally get this. My old neighbour was French and she had her first baby the day after I had mine. We talked a lot in this early days. Her mum came to visit from France and was very critical of her “gentle parenting”. She was very adamant that she should let the baby cry. There was definitely a generational difference of opinions!
Yes there is truly a generational divide between how my friends and I do parenting and how our parents did... i figure its the same in the US
but learning to sit through a meal without a screen and eating the food that is given is still a must I can't imagine ever letting my kid on a tablet through a meal but I'll let you know in a couple of years if this standard has held or not haha
We’ve survived eating out without screens so far but they definitely don’t sit quietly for extended periods. We’re usually on a tight time limit and once the wheels fall off, we’re making a swift exit! Of course bribing them with dessert also works. Saying that - no judgment to anyone who does use a screen - you never know the situation and if it means the parents can have an hour of peace to enjoy their meal then great. Never say never cos the nevers keep coming! 😂
I have 3 kids in 3 years. Our older kids (3 and 1.5h) can more or less sit through a meal. Provided the meals are FAST lol. 1 hour? We can manage. 3 hours? No effing way. And they demand to be TALKED TO. I mean that’s alright. They’re humans after all, they do deserve to be talked to and not forced to sit there silently. And if talking to them means I don’t have to bring a shopping bag full of toys (or iPads), I’m 200% happy to.
To be fair, those 3H meals are for special family occasions such as Christmas or birthdays...but 1H meal is normal (I have 1H lunch break at work, and on a week night, between setting the table, eating chatting up and clearing it up it easily takes 1H)
Sometimes we were allowed to leave the table, on the break between the main course and dessert when adults discuss, but not always.... from age 6, 7 yo, you were supposed to be able to sit through. Most of the time there was a 'Kid table' at the end of the 'adult table' ...kids could talk among themselves just as the adults do. And when we were silent, althought sometimes it was painfully boring, it makes you mature as you listen to adult conversations and you can participate if you have something to say.....
Here to report that as long as you bring things for them to play with, you can hold off on using screens - assuming you keep it to about an hour or so! I think having the right expectations when eating out (kid should eat asap, be entertained likely throughout) then it’s much easier and enjoyable than wanting to eat uninterrupted 😄
Alice, unless something has changed in the last decade, parents here also make their kids sit still for agonizing hours on end. Whatever the difference is, it's not that.
Baaaahaaaaaa our non-parent selves had it allllllllllll figured out, didn't we??? This is hysterical! Just as hysterical as when I used to wonder why dumb parents trying to potty train a kid didn't just TELL the kid to use the toilet. JUST TELL THEM. Clearly they weren't talking to their kids. Yep. Pure, solid reasoning right there!
Oh Sara, this: “Let’s just say that becoming a parent has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. Not only can I not be “perfect” at it, but I might not even be very good.”
This is the point I’m at in my life. I love my children, and I’m not very good at parenting. If it had been an employed role, I would have resigned about 10.5 years ago. Actually, I probably would have been fired tbf.
Oh I feel you, Katie! It can be frustrating, monotonous and sometimes (most of the time?) thankless. Perfection is totally futile. From what I know you of you, I’ll bet you’re a much better parent than you’re giving yourself credit for X
I am shattered because my youngest has started school and so now her sleep is awful and she keeps crawling into our bed at 5am. I too read the French Bebe book. My children, it turns out, are sadly not French. They always have nuggets and chips in restaurants, unless its Wagamama, in which case they have nuggets and rice. Thankyou for making me laugh out loud. You are very funny.
Oh, Alex, condolences about the 5 am bed invasions! haha omg I used to love Wagamama when I lived in the UK. I'll definitely take my kids there for nuggets and rice when we go back.
I told my sister (Who has two children) That giving a child Sugar is child abuse…. Hahahaha… I now have a child of my own and I frequently apologize for being a fuckin moron.
Co-sleeping saved my life and sleep! My daughter absolutely refused her bassinet. Her crib? Bwahahahahahhaa i pity the fool who thought she would sleep in it. She just loves cuddles and wants to be held all the time. At one point i just said screw it, this ain't forever, I'm just gonna enjoy the damn cuddles
I enjoyed co-sleeping with the kids. But since they have become older they prefer sleeping in their own beds in their own rooms. It happens. So enjoy the cuddles.
How old were they when that happened? My daughter is 5 and she's still wanting to sleep with me. I'm just curious what the general age range is when they want their own bed due to their own perogative instead of parent directed
Well… older. Around 8 or 9 they went to bed in their room but came over to ours pretty much every night. We had some extra mattresses for that. I‘d say that stopped around 10 maybe. That’s a long time, I know. But we don’t mind.
My ex thought cloth diapers were great and ordered me to use them.....until I began my military drill again and daughter had DIARRHEA. On.his.watch. it was great.
I hated the DAMN things. OMG. I came home from drill and the cloth diapers had all been relegated to the rag pile, and there were boxes of Pampers in their place. “She had diarrhea.” Was the response to my raised eyebrows.
Ha ha ha! Bloody brilliant! So relatable and hilarious 🤣 Been great fun reading through all the comments too and everyone’s similar experiences.. I feel so heard right now! 🤣 Thank you Sara 🙏
thank you Eva! I hope the have “Relatable and Hilarious” etched in my gravestone so you’ve made my day. And yes, I love the comments section on my posts - it’s a support group for fried parents ❤️
Oh brilliant! So glad to make your day 👍🤣 Yes, I love places where you can be real, say it how it is and parents can admit their failures.. we need more of this in the world! 🥰
Thank you so much. I believe I’ve never laughed so hard. I’m 69 years old so my parenting days are behind me but not being a parent. I’ll always be that. I have 4 children all married and being parents! I never referred to a book, I don’t think there is one to tell us how to be the perfect parent. Your writing is so accurate with all the humor stuck in there. So I thank you. My memory is slipping but this article brought back a lot. Thank God my children have good memories of their childhood. So thank you.
Aww this is so lovely, thank you. It sounds like you did a wonderful job with them and now as a grandparent ❤️ You’re right - I don’t think any book can tell us how to do it. Sure, there’s some good advice but the quest for perfection is futile.
🤣🤣🤣 So relatable, what I believed before I had kids , now I know why my mum and sister used to look at me raised eyebrows thinking she’s on a different planet ! Hell yes I was !!
My son was 18 months when the lockdown began so there wasn’t much opportunity to eat fast food. We got a lot of takeout but we almost never ordered McDonald’s or KFC. So yeah, for about 2 years, he ate either my cooking or from nicer restaurants that went takeout until they were allowed to fully reopen. He developed a pretty extensive palate for a kid even now, with the peer pressure that comes with school. He’ll still eat the fancy stuff but if you ask him, he’d take chicken fingers or cheese pizza over calamari.
I'm with you, Cynthia. We made such an effort to teach our kids about food and cooking that we've created foodie monsters who choose sushi ("The good one") or ramen over nuggets. They can criticize this or that burger place because "The char is not ok" and complain about the salt content of their fries. Still, when surrounded by other kids, whatever goes. :)
This is so funny and so very true. I was never going to give my three year old a tablet EVER. But sometimes - and this has become my mantra since becoming a parent - you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
Oh my gosh Ren - you ABSOLUTELY have to do what you have to do to get through the day AND night. I thought mine would only ever watch educational programming and now I catch them watching total garbage. You have to pick your battles.
I'm not a parent, but all my friends or family who have kids would relate to this!
The eating thing is always my favourite to observe when I'm out with them. "I want XYZ." You don't *like* XYZ." "I want it!" It is ordered. It goes uneaten.
Funny piece! My wife and I have been married 40 years and have 11 children, 9 boys, 2 girls. I'm 60 now and my youngest is 12. You talk about tiring. My older adult kids tell us we're spoiling him, that we would have never let them get away with what he does. I'm just too damn tired!
And I remind them of the things they got away with. My first two boys discovering Vaseline and smearing it all over them and everything in the house. The time they fed the dog by pushing a plastic peanut butter jar over his head, that I had to cut off with a knife. My son scratching his name onto my car with a screwdriver and then swearing it wasn't him, and then his younger brother hearing the story a decade later and deciding to scratch his brother's name onto my car to get his brother in trouble. Three broken windows just two weeks after installing new windows on the house. One of them finding $600 in my drawer and passing it out to the kids in the neighborhood because he was rich. One of them burning down the shed, "on accident". Haha, I'm just getting started. Maybe I should write an article.
11 kids! Omg no wonder you’re tired 😂. Have any of your older kids had their own kids yet? They’ll learn quick about how this goes. And yes, you have A LOT of material here. Enough for a whole series are articles! I’d certainly read them 😄
Thanks, maybe someday I'll pick up a pen. We have 26 grandkids. The 6 oldest kids are married. We have four boys still living at home, but one of them is getting married in the spring and moving out. Busy, busy, something's always going on. 😁
Not sure when you’ll find the time to write but I hope you do!
Walking into the bathroom to find that the 2yo has climbed onto the change table and liberally coated her face with white nappy-rash cream. Quoth she: “everywhere!”
Everywhere is right 😂😣 My son pulled the same trick on our fabric sofa. Smeared sudocrem everywhere 😑
On no!
At least our messy disasters tend to occur on easy to clean surfaces!
Yes, please, we need that post about your kids!
😂 😂 Great stuff again, Sara. Much of this is painfully relatable.
Our son once lost his mind because I wouldn’t let him take his tricycle in the bath.
That seems like a perfectly reasonable request 😄
My 3 year old lost his marbles and wouldnt get in the car seat because he had 'appointments' to attend to in the dashboard of our car.
Can’t fight kid logic!
"Kid logic" deserves its own post. You should collect the craziest kid logic
Haha thanks for this article it made me laugh. I'm actually one of those French mom with an 8 mo daughter and already revising my standards ! This baby will not sleep in her cot ! And my mom keeps asking me if she falls asleep on her own (LOL)
Although I do have many painful memories of being forced to sit for hours at a family lunch or a restaurant listening to adults talk on and on, without tablets or distractions, and not being authorized to leave the table until after dessert (so like, 3 hours into the meal??).
There are some of us that criticize our French parenting culture, very much based on punishment and fear rather than on collaboration...not everything is perfect here either...
Alice! Firstly, I’m thrilled to have an actual French parent here to comment. I’m glad I didn’t offend you 😂 secondly, yes I totally get this. My old neighbour was French and she had her first baby the day after I had mine. We talked a lot in this early days. Her mum came to visit from France and was very critical of her “gentle parenting”. She was very adamant that she should let the baby cry. There was definitely a generational difference of opinions!
Yes there is truly a generational divide between how my friends and I do parenting and how our parents did... i figure its the same in the US
but learning to sit through a meal without a screen and eating the food that is given is still a must I can't imagine ever letting my kid on a tablet through a meal but I'll let you know in a couple of years if this standard has held or not haha
We’ve survived eating out without screens so far but they definitely don’t sit quietly for extended periods. We’re usually on a tight time limit and once the wheels fall off, we’re making a swift exit! Of course bribing them with dessert also works. Saying that - no judgment to anyone who does use a screen - you never know the situation and if it means the parents can have an hour of peace to enjoy their meal then great. Never say never cos the nevers keep coming! 😂
I have 3 kids in 3 years. Our older kids (3 and 1.5h) can more or less sit through a meal. Provided the meals are FAST lol. 1 hour? We can manage. 3 hours? No effing way. And they demand to be TALKED TO. I mean that’s alright. They’re humans after all, they do deserve to be talked to and not forced to sit there silently. And if talking to them means I don’t have to bring a shopping bag full of toys (or iPads), I’m 200% happy to.
To be fair, those 3H meals are for special family occasions such as Christmas or birthdays...but 1H meal is normal (I have 1H lunch break at work, and on a week night, between setting the table, eating chatting up and clearing it up it easily takes 1H)
Sometimes we were allowed to leave the table, on the break between the main course and dessert when adults discuss, but not always.... from age 6, 7 yo, you were supposed to be able to sit through. Most of the time there was a 'Kid table' at the end of the 'adult table' ...kids could talk among themselves just as the adults do. And when we were silent, althought sometimes it was painfully boring, it makes you mature as you listen to adult conversations and you can participate if you have something to say.....
Here to report that as long as you bring things for them to play with, you can hold off on using screens - assuming you keep it to about an hour or so! I think having the right expectations when eating out (kid should eat asap, be entertained likely throughout) then it’s much easier and enjoyable than wanting to eat uninterrupted 😄
Alice, unless something has changed in the last decade, parents here also make their kids sit still for agonizing hours on end. Whatever the difference is, it's not that.
Baaaahaaaaaa our non-parent selves had it allllllllllll figured out, didn't we??? This is hysterical! Just as hysterical as when I used to wonder why dumb parents trying to potty train a kid didn't just TELL the kid to use the toilet. JUST TELL THEM. Clearly they weren't talking to their kids. Yep. Pure, solid reasoning right there!
😂 I'm an idiot, why didn't I think of just telling them to use the potty?
This must be why people have more than one kid, fight? To impart all this newfound genius upon?
🤣
Oh Sara, this: “Let’s just say that becoming a parent has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. Not only can I not be “perfect” at it, but I might not even be very good.”
This is the point I’m at in my life. I love my children, and I’m not very good at parenting. If it had been an employed role, I would have resigned about 10.5 years ago. Actually, I probably would have been fired tbf.
Oh I feel you, Katie! It can be frustrating, monotonous and sometimes (most of the time?) thankless. Perfection is totally futile. From what I know you of you, I’ll bet you’re a much better parent than you’re giving yourself credit for X
I am shattered because my youngest has started school and so now her sleep is awful and she keeps crawling into our bed at 5am. I too read the French Bebe book. My children, it turns out, are sadly not French. They always have nuggets and chips in restaurants, unless its Wagamama, in which case they have nuggets and rice. Thankyou for making me laugh out loud. You are very funny.
Oh, Alex, condolences about the 5 am bed invasions! haha omg I used to love Wagamama when I lived in the UK. I'll definitely take my kids there for nuggets and rice when we go back.
I told my sister (Who has two children) That giving a child Sugar is child abuse…. Hahahaha… I now have a child of my own and I frequently apologize for being a fuckin moron.
🤣🤣 We are all humbled, eventually
lol! Parenting is not for the faint of heart, I barely survive on the other side of it, 20 some years later…blood and sweat, haha!
My thing was making baby food myself. Day 2, I gave up! Screw it with the ice cube tray!!!
Congratulations on making it out alive, and on giving up on home made baby food 🤣
Co-sleeping saved my life and sleep! My daughter absolutely refused her bassinet. Her crib? Bwahahahahahhaa i pity the fool who thought she would sleep in it. She just loves cuddles and wants to be held all the time. At one point i just said screw it, this ain't forever, I'm just gonna enjoy the damn cuddles
Acceptance of reality is huge 😂
I enjoyed co-sleeping with the kids. But since they have become older they prefer sleeping in their own beds in their own rooms. It happens. So enjoy the cuddles.
How old were they when that happened? My daughter is 5 and she's still wanting to sleep with me. I'm just curious what the general age range is when they want their own bed due to their own perogative instead of parent directed
Well… older. Around 8 or 9 they went to bed in their room but came over to ours pretty much every night. We had some extra mattresses for that. I‘d say that stopped around 10 maybe. That’s a long time, I know. But we don’t mind.
My ex thought cloth diapers were great and ordered me to use them.....until I began my military drill again and daughter had DIARRHEA. On.his.watch. it was great.
Oh Teresa 😂 don’t you love when the law of natural consequences works its magic? 🙏
I hated the DAMN things. OMG. I came home from drill and the cloth diapers had all been relegated to the rag pile, and there were boxes of Pampers in their place. “She had diarrhea.” Was the response to my raised eyebrows.
Ha ha ha! Bloody brilliant! So relatable and hilarious 🤣 Been great fun reading through all the comments too and everyone’s similar experiences.. I feel so heard right now! 🤣 Thank you Sara 🙏
thank you Eva! I hope the have “Relatable and Hilarious” etched in my gravestone so you’ve made my day. And yes, I love the comments section on my posts - it’s a support group for fried parents ❤️
Oh brilliant! So glad to make your day 👍🤣 Yes, I love places where you can be real, say it how it is and parents can admit their failures.. we need more of this in the world! 🥰
Thank you so much. I believe I’ve never laughed so hard. I’m 69 years old so my parenting days are behind me but not being a parent. I’ll always be that. I have 4 children all married and being parents! I never referred to a book, I don’t think there is one to tell us how to be the perfect parent. Your writing is so accurate with all the humor stuck in there. So I thank you. My memory is slipping but this article brought back a lot. Thank God my children have good memories of their childhood. So thank you.
Aww this is so lovely, thank you. It sounds like you did a wonderful job with them and now as a grandparent ❤️ You’re right - I don’t think any book can tell us how to do it. Sure, there’s some good advice but the quest for perfection is futile.
Thank you for that compliment. I’m sure you’re doing a great job too. You are so right.
🤣🤣🤣 So relatable, what I believed before I had kids , now I know why my mum and sister used to look at me raised eyebrows thinking she’s on a different planet ! Hell yes I was !!
It’s a steep learning curve 😂
My son was 18 months when the lockdown began so there wasn’t much opportunity to eat fast food. We got a lot of takeout but we almost never ordered McDonald’s or KFC. So yeah, for about 2 years, he ate either my cooking or from nicer restaurants that went takeout until they were allowed to fully reopen. He developed a pretty extensive palate for a kid even now, with the peer pressure that comes with school. He’ll still eat the fancy stuff but if you ask him, he’d take chicken fingers or cheese pizza over calamari.
I'm with you, Cynthia. We made such an effort to teach our kids about food and cooking that we've created foodie monsters who choose sushi ("The good one") or ramen over nuggets. They can criticize this or that burger place because "The char is not ok" and complain about the salt content of their fries. Still, when surrounded by other kids, whatever goes. :)
This is so funny and so very true. I was never going to give my three year old a tablet EVER. But sometimes - and this has become my mantra since becoming a parent - you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
Oh my gosh Ren - you ABSOLUTELY have to do what you have to do to get through the day AND night. I thought mine would only ever watch educational programming and now I catch them watching total garbage. You have to pick your battles.
You do. I have to choose my sanity these days!
I'm not a parent, but all my friends or family who have kids would relate to this!
The eating thing is always my favourite to observe when I'm out with them. "I want XYZ." You don't *like* XYZ." "I want it!" It is ordered. It goes uneaten.
Honestly, it's soul-destroying, especially when you're paying through the nose for it!