Love how you encapsulate the lives of so many parents in this time and place!
I have one thought that came to me while reading. Something an ex- families and children's social worker said to me. Along the lines of, 'when I worked in the industry and we were assessing whether children were safe in their home, if they were loud and unafraid to talk back to the parents, we knew they were all good. It was the quiet ones we worried about.'
Hearing that on a day when I was wondering what kind of creatures I'd created was truly supportive. Yes they are unafraid to be 'little shits' at times, but this means they also feel safe with us and that is one of the biggest gifts we can give them, in a society that often lacks safety.
OH BOY. You’re gonna make me cry. You’re absolutely right. They do feel safe - too safe 😂 No really, this is a beautiful sentiment, thank you for reading ❤️
I love it up there! We lived in Sydney for 6 years and spent some time on the North coast. Yes. south west WA is stunning! I’m still discovering it myself ☀️
This is superb, Sara. You capture the chaos (and joy?) of domestic life so, so bloody well.
I once kicked the car during a domestic meltdown. Disgraced myself, injured my foot, nice little bout of self-loathing for the cherry on the cake. All the good stuff.
Oh Sara. I am an old woman and was brought up in the spare the rod, spoil the child era. But my parents didn't subscribe to that theory. Probably because my brother and I absolutely knew that our mother could kill a person just with the gaze of her steely blue eyes.
My father on the other hand, would occasionally threaten to "take his belt" to one of us. When we suggested his pants would fall down if he did, he'd suppress a giggle and forgive us for whatever it was we had done. "Just don't tell your mother what you did", he would say. Trust me Dad, she will never know.
I have four children. I never mastered the look, but occasionally slid down the wall and crumbled into a heap of tears. I think that scared my kids even more than yelling or screaming. Well, except for one. She would look at me with what I can only describe as contempt at my weakness. That girl is not surprisingly doing very well in the business world, but has become a big mushball with her own two children - who are as far as I am concerned, absolutely the most perfect human beings ever to grace our planet.
Oh this is so lovely, and I’m glad your dad spared you the belt! Yes I think maybe we’re so focussed on “holding it together” and “doing the right thing” now that it does take an emotional toll. As evidenced by my tantrum 😂 We are all just out here doing our best ❤️
Omg not to be a creep and like something from the past, but this just appeared on my feed (it’s from when I was on the Stack) and it made me laugh SO much. Like I’m reading this in our crowded work cafe, sitting alone laughing and snorting out my chickpea salad, and everything thinks I’m insane. The promise of 20% longer orgasms at the beginning might be my favorite part. How do you not have a million paid subscribers? Also, I wish I could get the respect from my kids that the Boomers command without all the baked in authoritarianism. Someone needs to invent that parenting strategy and I would pay out the nose for it!
Haha I love that this piece has made a random comeback with you! I also love that it made you snort in public. It’s funny reading this back now because my writing seems a lot freer (read: unhinged) here - I think I’ve started censoring myself a bit 🤔 and overthinking it all - which is SO unlike me. And yes, if you figure the parenting thing out - let me know! My kids are still not scared of me and it’s still a problem 🤷♀️
Oooohhhh Sara, I wish you lived near me. We would be friends. And drink wine. Sooooo many relatable points in this post. I laughed out loud at the shoes, THE FUCKING SHOES, I mean we have a shoe cupboard but ARE ANY OF THEM IN RHE CUPBOARD? The cupboard is currently laying vacant like a shitty AirBnb where the shoes basically go for a little holiday in the darkness occasionally. Which, frankly, is what I’d like to do right now.
Sending applause 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 wine 🍷 and just general solidarity your way 💪🏻, brilliant post.
Thank you for the laughs here! That Halloween witch omg! Perhaps you can switch chairs with her and sound her alarm when that stuff hits the fan.
I'm also navigating this messy parenting thing. And that judgemental gaze Yeahhhhhhh! Like I tell my mom my toddlers made a cake out of hot cocoa and vitamins in their toy kitchen and I can tell it wasn't worth it to share with her. Those eyes say everything. What an irresponsible mom letting the kids do as they please.
She aksi says we never climbed tables. Or unpacked the fridge and poured out stuff. 🥴🥴
I commend you on your endurance. Before I had kids I used to think parents that didn’t follow through with consequences were weak, but now I understand they were just tired 😂
One of seven! As an only child raising three, I honestly have no idea how people do it. Everything is so overstimulating. I just drink my medicine and hope for the best 🍷
I relate to this sooooo much !!!! Kids are shits 😂😂🤣 made me laugh so much. I’m a single mum , so thanks for the recognition ☺️ and have actually locked myself out in the garden on purpose. (Not sure I thought that through) Although now older teenagers , they still have their moments and I still do EVERYTHING! They are not scared of me in anyway and I’ve been called a few choice names !!!! I remember that feeling of judgement from my ex in laws !! And everyone who told me I’m too soft , I need to set boundaries, oh yeah like I not tried all that! They are both very very strong willed kids.
Well hats off to you doing it solo, Francis! Being able to walk away and reset when you’re on a verge of a grown up tantrum is a luxury not everybody has 💪
This is absolutely brilliant Sara!! Everything anyone could possibly want to read in an article!! (Especially loved the empty shoe rack!) I also love the little serious note running through it - I was definitely a goody two shoes and didn’t cause my parents any teenage angst as they were having their own. I regret not being more open and raw. So if it’s any consolation, it’s probably helping to make your kids comfortable with being themselves and communicative - perhaps saving fees on therapy, which hopefully they’ll spend on you instead as a thank you 🤣🤣
Love how you encapsulate the lives of so many parents in this time and place!
I have one thought that came to me while reading. Something an ex- families and children's social worker said to me. Along the lines of, 'when I worked in the industry and we were assessing whether children were safe in their home, if they were loud and unafraid to talk back to the parents, we knew they were all good. It was the quiet ones we worried about.'
Hearing that on a day when I was wondering what kind of creatures I'd created was truly supportive. Yes they are unafraid to be 'little shits' at times, but this means they also feel safe with us and that is one of the biggest gifts we can give them, in a society that often lacks safety.
OH BOY. You’re gonna make me cry. You’re absolutely right. They do feel safe - too safe 😂 No really, this is a beautiful sentiment, thank you for reading ❤️
Hi, from the other side of Australia btw! I'm enjoying finding more Aussie based publications.
Hello from the Wild West! Where are you based?
Northern NSW, (one of) the most touristy place outside of the big cities! But, also, paradise. I love WA those southern beaches are magic!
I love it up there! We lived in Sydney for 6 years and spent some time on the North coast. Yes. south west WA is stunning! I’m still discovering it myself ☀️
This is superb, Sara. You capture the chaos (and joy?) of domestic life so, so bloody well.
I once kicked the car during a domestic meltdown. Disgraced myself, injured my foot, nice little bout of self-loathing for the cherry on the cake. All the good stuff.
Happy Halloween 🎃
Haha who among us has not kicked a car in a fit of child-induced rage? Happy Halloween! 🎃
Try whispering if you really want to terrify them. Works like a charm.
That sounds sinister yet effective
Extremely
Oh Sara. I am an old woman and was brought up in the spare the rod, spoil the child era. But my parents didn't subscribe to that theory. Probably because my brother and I absolutely knew that our mother could kill a person just with the gaze of her steely blue eyes.
My father on the other hand, would occasionally threaten to "take his belt" to one of us. When we suggested his pants would fall down if he did, he'd suppress a giggle and forgive us for whatever it was we had done. "Just don't tell your mother what you did", he would say. Trust me Dad, she will never know.
I have four children. I never mastered the look, but occasionally slid down the wall and crumbled into a heap of tears. I think that scared my kids even more than yelling or screaming. Well, except for one. She would look at me with what I can only describe as contempt at my weakness. That girl is not surprisingly doing very well in the business world, but has become a big mushball with her own two children - who are as far as I am concerned, absolutely the most perfect human beings ever to grace our planet.
Oh this is so lovely, and I’m glad your dad spared you the belt! Yes I think maybe we’re so focussed on “holding it together” and “doing the right thing” now that it does take an emotional toll. As evidenced by my tantrum 😂 We are all just out here doing our best ❤️
Oh my gosh… sooo many questions…
Did I write this?
Do we have the same kids?
Do we have the same mom?
But sincerely, why the skid marks and no flushing?
Mind blown 🤯
Haha SO MANY QUESTIONS. I Don’t have any answers, but I’m right there with ya!
Memories, memories! The witch manifesting your mood is so funny. Will you cancel Halloween, though, Sara? I am on tenterhooks!
I am the witch and the witch is I 🧙 If the kids keep up this angelic behaviour, I’ll be forced to reinstate Halloween 🎃
Omg not to be a creep and like something from the past, but this just appeared on my feed (it’s from when I was on the Stack) and it made me laugh SO much. Like I’m reading this in our crowded work cafe, sitting alone laughing and snorting out my chickpea salad, and everything thinks I’m insane. The promise of 20% longer orgasms at the beginning might be my favorite part. How do you not have a million paid subscribers? Also, I wish I could get the respect from my kids that the Boomers command without all the baked in authoritarianism. Someone needs to invent that parenting strategy and I would pay out the nose for it!
Haha I love that this piece has made a random comeback with you! I also love that it made you snort in public. It’s funny reading this back now because my writing seems a lot freer (read: unhinged) here - I think I’ve started censoring myself a bit 🤔 and overthinking it all - which is SO unlike me. And yes, if you figure the parenting thing out - let me know! My kids are still not scared of me and it’s still a problem 🤷♀️
Oooohhhh Sara, I wish you lived near me. We would be friends. And drink wine. Sooooo many relatable points in this post. I laughed out loud at the shoes, THE FUCKING SHOES, I mean we have a shoe cupboard but ARE ANY OF THEM IN RHE CUPBOARD? The cupboard is currently laying vacant like a shitty AirBnb where the shoes basically go for a little holiday in the darkness occasionally. Which, frankly, is what I’d like to do right now.
Sending applause 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 wine 🍷 and just general solidarity your way 💪🏻, brilliant post.
😂😂 the shoe cupboard is barren wasteland. The floor on the other hand 🤷♀️
I feel seen!! Brilliant x
Thank you for the laughs here! That Halloween witch omg! Perhaps you can switch chairs with her and sound her alarm when that stuff hits the fan.
I'm also navigating this messy parenting thing. And that judgemental gaze Yeahhhhhhh! Like I tell my mom my toddlers made a cake out of hot cocoa and vitamins in their toy kitchen and I can tell it wasn't worth it to share with her. Those eyes say everything. What an irresponsible mom letting the kids do as they please.
She aksi says we never climbed tables. Or unpacked the fridge and poured out stuff. 🥴🥴
I think our Mum’s have short memories!
My mum lay in vicious spankings whew were 4- 5 . That we never forgot! After that she only needed to go and get the wooden spoon.
I control my kids with agreements. If they act up - I take all fun and electronics away for days. The only thing they can use are the lights.
Back to 1960. Toys and books. They love their games and shows so much ( and only get a precious one hour a day ) that they always behave.
I did take them all away for a week once. And now they always remember that Im serious.
I commend you on your endurance. Before I had kids I used to think parents that didn’t follow through with consequences were weak, but now I understand they were just tired 😂
Funny how our opinions change dramatically once we're actually living the shit-show ourselves! 🤣
Best. Read. Ever. Omg i can relate, and i only have one kid. I'm laughing so hard and i commiserate with you ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for your laughter and commiserations, Wendy!
Omg, I felt so seen in this piece! 🤣🤣🤣
👀
Brilliant. I'm one of seven siblings and the chaos was real. God knows how our parents coped. They didn't, really!
One of seven! As an only child raising three, I honestly have no idea how people do it. Everything is so overstimulating. I just drink my medicine and hope for the best 🍷
Wine and cake for the win!
I relate to this sooooo much !!!! Kids are shits 😂😂🤣 made me laugh so much. I’m a single mum , so thanks for the recognition ☺️ and have actually locked myself out in the garden on purpose. (Not sure I thought that through) Although now older teenagers , they still have their moments and I still do EVERYTHING! They are not scared of me in anyway and I’ve been called a few choice names !!!! I remember that feeling of judgement from my ex in laws !! And everyone who told me I’m too soft , I need to set boundaries, oh yeah like I not tried all that! They are both very very strong willed kids.
Well hats off to you doing it solo, Francis! Being able to walk away and reset when you’re on a verge of a grown up tantrum is a luxury not everybody has 💪
This is absolutely brilliant Sara!! Everything anyone could possibly want to read in an article!! (Especially loved the empty shoe rack!) I also love the little serious note running through it - I was definitely a goody two shoes and didn’t cause my parents any teenage angst as they were having their own. I regret not being more open and raw. So if it’s any consolation, it’s probably helping to make your kids comfortable with being themselves and communicative - perhaps saving fees on therapy, which hopefully they’ll spend on you instead as a thank you 🤣🤣
Thank you so much Faith! We can only hope 🤞