Love how you encapsulate the lives of so many parents in this time and place!
I have one thought that came to me while reading. Something an ex- families and children's social worker said to me. Along the lines of, 'when I worked in the industry and we were assessing whether children were safe in their home, if they were loud and unafraid to talk back to the parents, we knew they were all good. It was the quiet ones we worried about.'
Hearing that on a day when I was wondering what kind of creatures I'd created was truly supportive. Yes they are unafraid to be 'little shits' at times, but this means they also feel safe with us and that is one of the biggest gifts we can give them, in a society that often lacks safety.
OH BOY. You’re gonna make me cry. You’re absolutely right. They do feel safe - too safe 😂 No really, this is a beautiful sentiment, thank you for reading ❤️
I love it up there! We lived in Sydney for 6 years and spent some time on the North coast. Yes. south west WA is stunning! I’m still discovering it myself ☀️
This is superb, Sara. You capture the chaos (and joy?) of domestic life so, so bloody well.
I once kicked the car during a domestic meltdown. Disgraced myself, injured my foot, nice little bout of self-loathing for the cherry on the cake. All the good stuff.
Oh Sara. I am an old woman and was brought up in the spare the rod, spoil the child era. But my parents didn't subscribe to that theory. Probably because my brother and I absolutely knew that our mother could kill a person just with the gaze of her steely blue eyes.
My father on the other hand, would occasionally threaten to "take his belt" to one of us. When we suggested his pants would fall down if he did, he'd suppress a giggle and forgive us for whatever it was we had done. "Just don't tell your mother what you did", he would say. Trust me Dad, she will never know.
I have four children. I never mastered the look, but occasionally slid down the wall and crumbled into a heap of tears. I think that scared my kids even more than yelling or screaming. Well, except for one. She would look at me with what I can only describe as contempt at my weakness. That girl is not surprisingly doing very well in the business world, but has become a big mushball with her own two children - who are as far as I am concerned, absolutely the most perfect human beings ever to grace our planet.
Oh this is so lovely, and I’m glad your dad spared you the belt! Yes I think maybe we’re so focussed on “holding it together” and “doing the right thing” now that it does take an emotional toll. As evidenced by my tantrum 😂 We are all just out here doing our best ❤️
One of seven! As an only child raising three, I honestly have no idea how people do it. Everything is so overstimulating. I just drink my medicine and hope for the best 🍷
I relate to this sooooo much !!!! Kids are shits 😂😂🤣 made me laugh so much. I’m a single mum , so thanks for the recognition ☺️ and have actually locked myself out in the garden on purpose. (Not sure I thought that through) Although now older teenagers , they still have their moments and I still do EVERYTHING! They are not scared of me in anyway and I’ve been called a few choice names !!!! I remember that feeling of judgement from my ex in laws !! And everyone who told me I’m too soft , I need to set boundaries, oh yeah like I not tried all that! They are both very very strong willed kids.
Well hats off to you doing it solo, Francis! Being able to walk away and reset when you’re on a verge of a grown up tantrum is a luxury not everybody has 💪
This is absolutely brilliant Sara!! Everything anyone could possibly want to read in an article!! (Especially loved the empty shoe rack!) I also love the little serious note running through it - I was definitely a goody two shoes and didn’t cause my parents any teenage angst as they were having their own. I regret not being more open and raw. So if it’s any consolation, it’s probably helping to make your kids comfortable with being themselves and communicative - perhaps saving fees on therapy, which hopefully they’ll spend on you instead as a thank you 🤣🤣
This was SO relatable. Funny, touching, uncomfortable. All the feels. My kids are now 25 and 22 and I can say I had those moments more often than I'd like to admit, and guess what? My kids are fine. Sometimes losing our shit is the most "real" thing we can do. I was always really quick with apologies with my kids after I lost it, and sometimes those moments create the most connection
Thank you Alison ❤️ This is very reassuring. Us parents aren’t super humans - we have feeling and limits too. Sometimes we get pushed beyond those limits and have tantrums that involve many airborne shoes 😂
!!!!!!!!!!! You are fucking HILARIOUS and amazing and I'm just so so so glad you are sharing your brilliance with us all!!!! 😂😂😂🙏💕
I just... feel this so hard. 😅😂 When my daughter was 3 I was all "I'm the best parent ever cuz I'm raising my daughter the exact OPPOSITE way I was raised 💅" and then flash forward a couple years and holy fucking hell. I HAVE BEEN HUMBLED. 😭😂 My "all your feelings are valid" and "tell me how you really feel" approach has become a very hostile environment at times. 😭😂
And... I'm so glad I'm not the only mom who is lost her everloving shit after being stretched far beyond what any human should ever be stretched. 😅
Sigh. Speaking from my own personal experience as a child once, and now a mom, I do think the pendulum can swing too far in either direction. YES, feel the feels. All emotions are valid. You get to make your own choices. AND... respect and personal responsibility etc., are boundaries that I think can/should be firmly in place or privileges are axed until behavior changes. Or something like that. Still clawing my way out of the hostage situation I unknowingly created. Actually, the whole drastically cut down screen time I had to implement has been MASSIVELY helping!!!! 🙏
Anywho. Thank you for this. Brilliant and relatable. 😂🙏
Your comment means the world to me Megan!! I was thinking of you at times while writing this. Doing this shit on your own is NOT EASY. Hats off to you today and every day. We’re just out there trying to do better, fucking up, mending, and hoping like hell our kids turn out to be happy, well-adjusted humans. As for Halloween - we will see!
I can picture you in the mom rage kicking shoes and the witch cackling and it makes me love you even more! The “not a sole in the rack” part made me wince. Like, caused me physical pain. Like, tripped my own inner Halloween porch witch. 😤🤯💀
Love how you encapsulate the lives of so many parents in this time and place!
I have one thought that came to me while reading. Something an ex- families and children's social worker said to me. Along the lines of, 'when I worked in the industry and we were assessing whether children were safe in their home, if they were loud and unafraid to talk back to the parents, we knew they were all good. It was the quiet ones we worried about.'
Hearing that on a day when I was wondering what kind of creatures I'd created was truly supportive. Yes they are unafraid to be 'little shits' at times, but this means they also feel safe with us and that is one of the biggest gifts we can give them, in a society that often lacks safety.
OH BOY. You’re gonna make me cry. You’re absolutely right. They do feel safe - too safe 😂 No really, this is a beautiful sentiment, thank you for reading ❤️
Hi, from the other side of Australia btw! I'm enjoying finding more Aussie based publications.
Hello from the Wild West! Where are you based?
Northern NSW, (one of) the most touristy place outside of the big cities! But, also, paradise. I love WA those southern beaches are magic!
I love it up there! We lived in Sydney for 6 years and spent some time on the North coast. Yes. south west WA is stunning! I’m still discovering it myself ☀️
This is superb, Sara. You capture the chaos (and joy?) of domestic life so, so bloody well.
I once kicked the car during a domestic meltdown. Disgraced myself, injured my foot, nice little bout of self-loathing for the cherry on the cake. All the good stuff.
Happy Halloween 🎃
Haha who among us has not kicked a car in a fit of child-induced rage? Happy Halloween! 🎃
Oh Sara. I am an old woman and was brought up in the spare the rod, spoil the child era. But my parents didn't subscribe to that theory. Probably because my brother and I absolutely knew that our mother could kill a person just with the gaze of her steely blue eyes.
My father on the other hand, would occasionally threaten to "take his belt" to one of us. When we suggested his pants would fall down if he did, he'd suppress a giggle and forgive us for whatever it was we had done. "Just don't tell your mother what you did", he would say. Trust me Dad, she will never know.
I have four children. I never mastered the look, but occasionally slid down the wall and crumbled into a heap of tears. I think that scared my kids even more than yelling or screaming. Well, except for one. She would look at me with what I can only describe as contempt at my weakness. That girl is not surprisingly doing very well in the business world, but has become a big mushball with her own two children - who are as far as I am concerned, absolutely the most perfect human beings ever to grace our planet.
Oh this is so lovely, and I’m glad your dad spared you the belt! Yes I think maybe we’re so focussed on “holding it together” and “doing the right thing” now that it does take an emotional toll. As evidenced by my tantrum 😂 We are all just out here doing our best ❤️
Memories, memories! The witch manifesting your mood is so funny. Will you cancel Halloween, though, Sara? I am on tenterhooks!
I am the witch and the witch is I 🧙 If the kids keep up this angelic behaviour, I’ll be forced to reinstate Halloween 🎃
Try whispering if you really want to terrify them. Works like a charm.
That sounds sinister yet effective
Best. Read. Ever. Omg i can relate, and i only have one kid. I'm laughing so hard and i commiserate with you ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for your laughter and commiserations, Wendy!
Omg, I felt so seen in this piece! 🤣🤣🤣
👀
Brilliant. I'm one of seven siblings and the chaos was real. God knows how our parents coped. They didn't, really!
One of seven! As an only child raising three, I honestly have no idea how people do it. Everything is so overstimulating. I just drink my medicine and hope for the best 🍷
Wine and cake for the win!
I relate to this sooooo much !!!! Kids are shits 😂😂🤣 made me laugh so much. I’m a single mum , so thanks for the recognition ☺️ and have actually locked myself out in the garden on purpose. (Not sure I thought that through) Although now older teenagers , they still have their moments and I still do EVERYTHING! They are not scared of me in anyway and I’ve been called a few choice names !!!! I remember that feeling of judgement from my ex in laws !! And everyone who told me I’m too soft , I need to set boundaries, oh yeah like I not tried all that! They are both very very strong willed kids.
Well hats off to you doing it solo, Francis! Being able to walk away and reset when you’re on a verge of a grown up tantrum is a luxury not everybody has 💪
This is absolutely brilliant Sara!! Everything anyone could possibly want to read in an article!! (Especially loved the empty shoe rack!) I also love the little serious note running through it - I was definitely a goody two shoes and didn’t cause my parents any teenage angst as they were having their own. I regret not being more open and raw. So if it’s any consolation, it’s probably helping to make your kids comfortable with being themselves and communicative - perhaps saving fees on therapy, which hopefully they’ll spend on you instead as a thank you 🤣🤣
Thank you so much Faith! We can only hope 🤞
Oh my gosh… sooo many questions…
Did I write this?
Do we have the same kids?
Do we have the same mom?
But sincerely, why the skid marks and no flushing?
Mind blown 🤯
Haha SO MANY QUESTIONS. I Don’t have any answers, but I’m right there with ya!
This was SO relatable. Funny, touching, uncomfortable. All the feels. My kids are now 25 and 22 and I can say I had those moments more often than I'd like to admit, and guess what? My kids are fine. Sometimes losing our shit is the most "real" thing we can do. I was always really quick with apologies with my kids after I lost it, and sometimes those moments create the most connection
Thank you Alison ❤️ This is very reassuring. Us parents aren’t super humans - we have feeling and limits too. Sometimes we get pushed beyond those limits and have tantrums that involve many airborne shoes 😂
!!!!!!!!!!! You are fucking HILARIOUS and amazing and I'm just so so so glad you are sharing your brilliance with us all!!!! 😂😂😂🙏💕
I just... feel this so hard. 😅😂 When my daughter was 3 I was all "I'm the best parent ever cuz I'm raising my daughter the exact OPPOSITE way I was raised 💅" and then flash forward a couple years and holy fucking hell. I HAVE BEEN HUMBLED. 😭😂 My "all your feelings are valid" and "tell me how you really feel" approach has become a very hostile environment at times. 😭😂
And... I'm so glad I'm not the only mom who is lost her everloving shit after being stretched far beyond what any human should ever be stretched. 😅
Sigh. Speaking from my own personal experience as a child once, and now a mom, I do think the pendulum can swing too far in either direction. YES, feel the feels. All emotions are valid. You get to make your own choices. AND... respect and personal responsibility etc., are boundaries that I think can/should be firmly in place or privileges are axed until behavior changes. Or something like that. Still clawing my way out of the hostage situation I unknowingly created. Actually, the whole drastically cut down screen time I had to implement has been MASSIVELY helping!!!! 🙏
Anywho. Thank you for this. Brilliant and relatable. 😂🙏
Your comment means the world to me Megan!! I was thinking of you at times while writing this. Doing this shit on your own is NOT EASY. Hats off to you today and every day. We’re just out there trying to do better, fucking up, mending, and hoping like hell our kids turn out to be happy, well-adjusted humans. As for Halloween - we will see!
I can picture you in the mom rage kicking shoes and the witch cackling and it makes me love you even more! The “not a sole in the rack” part made me wince. Like, caused me physical pain. Like, tripped my own inner Halloween porch witch. 😤🤯💀
I mean. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE RACK, pray tell?!